shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
