Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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