We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
