but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
