He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
