i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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