Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
