My balls are so social today.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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