You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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