I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
