Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
