There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
