No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
