How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I need to stop coming to work sober
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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