But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
