The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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