One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
