i barfeds in our rink
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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