I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
