He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
