Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
