Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
