i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
