Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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