did you get engaged???
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
