I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
