it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
