I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
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