I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
