Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
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Do I have a choice?
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I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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