Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
