i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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