Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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