Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
