You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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