Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
