Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
