I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just cut my nipple shaving
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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