I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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