I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
