people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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