yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
