It's a beautiful day for a hangover
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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