I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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