She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm passing your future prison.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
