Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
wow bdsm is so cute
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