Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She bit a glass in half.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
