How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
