May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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