The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
